A female catechist of a Catholic Church in Lagos, Mrs. Maria-Rose Aganbi, claimed she has not slept with a man since her husband died 21 years ago and might never in her lifetime.
“My husband died when I was 30 years old and after five years in marriage. It was terrible! I had my five children in those five years. Things were not so good. But I made a vow to God that He would be my husband.
“I will not say the passion was not there. However, I killed it with prayer. If I had slept around or had affairs, I wouldn’t have been able to train my son who eventually became a priest. I sewed up my vagina. I can beat my hand on my chest and say that I have never slept with any man since my husband died. However, when the urge comes, I go to the sanctuary of God and I pray and pray,” she said.
“The urge still comes on so strong even at this age. But I have made a vow to God and I intend to keep it no matter what. I don’t masturbate, I don’t even have immoral thoughts and I don’t play with sex toys. However, I switch off and occupy my mind with other thoughts,” she said.
Aganbi would not likely forget in a hurry what she went through to train her kids.
“Things were so hard. I used to hawk Aloe Vera in Lagos Island. I soaked garri in water and allowed it to rise before I gave it to my children. I used to hawk rice and so many other things. We were living in a thatched house. The life of a widow is certainly not a bed of roses,” she said.
But Mrs. Sandra Maduneme, a clothier based in Egbeda area of Lagos, said she didn’t find it difficult to adapt to the loss of her husband in terms of sexual needs because she has a low libido.
“Naturally, sex has not been ‘food’ for me. I may not be frigid but I can do without sex. So, when my husband died, sex really never came to my mind. In that aspect, I have been able to cope very well. My husband was not always around even when he was alive. He was based abroad but he trusted me so much because he knew I was not too keen about sex.
“But few times when I even thought of it in the middle of the night, I would just call Jesus and I will sleep off again. If I get the urge early in the morning, before I know it, my kids would enter my bedroom and I would play with them and prepare them for the day,” she said.
