Sex can’t always be perfect. We’ve all experienced embarrassing
moments or things that turned us off. Here are 10 things that totally
kill the mood, and what you can do to prevent it.It can be awkward, it can be embarrassing and of course it’s really frustrating… I mean come on, you want sex, right?
While bad sex or no sex when you’re really in the mood is a huge damper on the day, the good news is you’re not alone. We all have times when everything goes wrong in the bedroom and we have all experienced embarrassing and somewhat mortifying sex. Everyone who is sexually active has at least one bad sex story to tell. Here are just some of them.
#1 Baby It’s Cold
If you live in a sub-tropical climate where the sun shines all year, you’re lucky, but for those of us who live in cooler climates, cold weather can really turn us off.It doesn’t matter how hard he’s trying to heat things up, all you can think about is how damned cold it is. Your guy could be doing back flips and pulling out every sex move imaginable that would usually turn you on and get you wild, but when it’s really cold all you want to do is put on your thick wooly socks and wrap up like an Eskimo.
Fixer: Get the fire cranking in the living room, grab your duvet and set a romantic warm mood.
#2 Ring, Ring Goes The Phone
So the phone rings… that’s nothing new, but there’s nothing more off-putting than the telephone ringing while your getting down and dirty; to make it worse, he answers it… um, yeah it sure is a mood killer.Fixer: Take the phone off the hook and leave all cells on silent. If it’s important, they’ll call back!
#3 “I Love It When You Lick My Balls”
Gross! Perhaps you do this and of course sexy talk is fun, but there’s definitely a fine line between what appropriate sex talk is and what’s not. Sexy talk really does add a bit of a spark to what’s going on beneath the sheets, but sometimes it can just be plain crude and shocking.Fixer: If you find something inappropriate, tell your partner immediately otherwise he’s just going to think you’re cool with it and he may just continue! Unless you’re a master of erotic prose, you ought to keep it at, “You like this, don’t you?”
#4 Porn Star Antics
We love a guy who really does take control and he loves a woman who takes initiative and bosses him about a bit when it comes to sex. Confidence in the bedroom goes a long way, but walking about the bedroom like you’re God’s gift to the world is a huge passion killer. Sex is to be enjoyed and no one likes a show-off.Fixer: Open up with each other, tell each other what you like and dislike about sex and both be open to taking direction. Sex is an intimate act.
#5 Sleep (Need I say more?)
Woah… falling asleep mid-foreplay or even worse during sex definitely kills the mood. It also sends us into full crisis mode! It not only kills the mood, but also leaves the person who’s still awake seriously doubting his/her capability in the bedroom.Fixer: Why leave sex till late at night if you both work long days? Initiate sex at different times of the day and even outside the bedroom where there’s less chance of your tired partner falling asleep on you and NO, you’re not boring in bed!
#6 Sexy Food Gone Wrong
There’s nothing like licking whipped cream and strawberries off each other’s body to really spice things up. While bringing sexy food into the bedroom is a good idea in theory, it doesn’t always go to plan – someone could get a little carried away and you get whipped cream in your eye, chili where it’s definitely not supposed to go and don’t even get me started on the champagne….Fixer: Keep your sexy food to certain zones. Use canned whipped cream for easy application and avoid anything that stings or burns generally; you’re asking for trouble otherwise.
#7 The Ex Comes Into Play
Is there anything worse than calling out your ex’s name while you’re having sex with your current partner. Awkward is an understatement. It’s hurtful and not only does it kill the mood, but you could be also heading for a breakup.Fixer: There’s nothing to say here other than GET OVER YOUR EX before you move on. You can’t get involved with someone else when you’re still harboring feelings for an old flame.
#8 When Someone Loses An Eye
It’s all going well until someone gets hurt. Of course we love enthusiastic sex with vigor and energy, but sometimes when we get too excited and things heat up we lose control over our bodies and our limbs have the tendency to go flying. Before you know it, someone’s sporting a black eye or a bump on the head.Fixer: Be careful where you put your knees and elbows, especially when you’re on top. Groin injuries are the biggest A&E sex injuries and apparently they hurt like hell.
#9 Your Neighbors Get Involved
I don’t mean they ring the doorbell and join in for a threesome, I mean they bang on your walls or doors and tell you to keep it down. This sucks and it’s really embarrassing – especially every time you have to pass that elderly couple in the hall way.Fixer: Does your headboard bang against the wall? Move it away from the wall or better still stick a t-shirt or towel between the wall and headboard. Does your bed scrape against the wooden floors or tiles? Simple buy a cheap rug and but it under bed so you avoid any nasty looks from the neighbors!
#10 You’re Wearing Your Spanx
It’s not only Bridget Jones who has to suck it all in and wear spanx. You’re getting it on with your guy and as he reaches below your skirt or your pants, you suddenly realize that you’re wearing your Granny underwear. Not ideal!You begin to get flustered as you try to reposition his hand or even worse he discovers it and well… no comment. Levels of passion begin to decrease and you curse yourself not getting rid of your ugly underwear ages ago.
Fixer: Get rid of them and be proud of your body. Spanx should only ever be worn when you’re wearing your LBD. He loves you for who you are otherwise he wouldn’t be with you.