Talking about good sex for a woman actually refers to the kind of sex women actually want. Many men know how to engage in sex with women and they actually pride themselves in it. But, when it comes to good sex, only an insignificant percentage actually make it to that point. The fact is many men just think that being able to maintain an erection long enough is what brings sexual satisfaction to women. So, they are happy and fulfilled to be able to do that. But, good sex requires more than strong erection to pleasure a woman. This has been discovered to be a major cause of marital infidelity, divorce, and disharmony. That is why I decided that we need to look at what a woman considers to be good sex. The following are some tips in that direction, and I hope it will help men to understand how a woman wants sex.
Clitoral exploration
Like a sexologist said, ‘’When embarking on a journey of female sexual response, know your way around her vulva — from the northern tippy-top of the clitoral glans (the “love-button,” so to speak), to the western and eastern boundaries of the labia minora (her inner lips), to the southernmost regions of the perineum (the smooth expanse of skin just below the vaginal entrance) and anus. Stop thinking of the clitoris as a little bump, and start thinking of it as a complex network, a pleasure dome, the Xanadu at the heart of female sexuality. The clitoris has more than 8,000 nerve fibers — more than any other part of the human body — and interacts with another 15,000 nerve fibers that service the entire pelvic area. Nerves are like wolves or birds: If one starts crying, there goes the neighborhood. Think in terms of stimulating her vulva rather than just penetrating her vagina.’’
When a partner understands the nitty-gritty of clitoral exploration, he is able to give his spouse the kind of sex a woman wants. The way to get the best of someone is knowing what he/she actually wants, and going all out to meet that desire. The same is applicable in sex. Any man who is able to give his spouse the kind of sex a woman wants becomes a celebrity to her.
The tongue is mightier than the sword.
When it comes to pleasuring women and conversing in the language of love, the tongue plays a major role. Even porn star Ron Jeremy, in possession of the famous 10-inch member, observed, “More women have gotten off with my tongue than with my penis.” Any man who is able to master the art of tonguing in sex will give a woman the kind of sex she wants. Using your tongue to savour her body produces a great pleasurable effect on her arousal climax. The extent to which you can go in tongue-pleasuring your spouse depends on what is convenient and acceptable to both of you. So, respect each other’s limits, and work around such limits.
All attention is on her: as in “she comes first”
Unlike men, women don’t reach an “orgasmic point”. This is the moment when, even without further physical stimulation, a guy ventures past the point of no return. As readers of this column probably now know, men and women are so different in this respect of attaining sexual pleasure. Many women claim to “lose” an orgasm just as they’re on the verge of having one, which can be particularly frustrating, especially if it occurs regularly. According to a sexologist, ‘’Guys need to pay attention to the journey through female arousal, particularly those final moments of potential orgasmic ecstasy. Recognise the visible signs of female arousal, mainly the muscular tension that develops throughout her body and that will ultimately demand release. Look especially for tension in the hands and feet and throughout her pelvic area’’. Mastering this will help a partner know when to go full length thrusting, cuddling or just changing positions.
Mastering lasting long for her to orgasm
There is nothing more pleasurable for a woman than to cross over, or better still, experience orgasm. It is the height of sexual pleasure, which gives a woman sexual fulfilment. So, a man who will give a woman the kind of sex she wants must be able to last long enough for her to cross over to orgasmic experience. One way to get a woman to orgasm faster is good stimulation. As a sexologist said, “More stimulation leads to more arousal which leads to easier/faster orgasm.” Women generally take longer to orgasm than men, and a lot of men find it hard to last long enough during sex. So, when a woman finds a partner who is able to last long enough for her to orgasm, she considers her sexual moments with him as good sex.
When you don’t forget to cuddle after orgasm
To paraphrase the pioneering sexologist Theodore van de Velde, it’s in the moments after orgasm that a man proves whether or not he is an erotically civilised adult. At this point, you can actually prove to her how great a partner you are in bed. Many men make the mistake of their life by rolling off immediately after orgasm to sleep off. This leaves a woman with the feeling of being used for a man’s sexual satisfaction. A matured and skillful husband goes on at the point of climax by his spouse to cuddle her and express his deep satisfaction and appreciation for a good time of sex. This makes it a memorable experience worth looking forward to for her.
Allowing her to be in control
This is when the spouse is given sexual control in the act. She knows what is good for her sexual pleasure, and putting her on the driver’s seat enables her to dictate the pace at which her man should go, in order to achieve the desired pleasure. Be in control means she is able to direct the pace of thrusting, the massaging of her pleasure point, and the timing of her orgasm. This is where the benefits of the woman-on-top missionary style become obvious.