The kind of friends every mum should have
Every mother needs friends, most especially friends that can impact positively on them and the lives of their children. Shelly Emling of the Huffington Post in a recent write-up listed some criteria mothers need to follow when choosing their friends.
Moms need friends, not just any kind of friends but friends that will stick with them through thick and thin all through being wives and mothers.
Friends who make the effort: Friends ought to be there at all times and not only when the going is good for you. A friend who is always very busy but always finds time out of her busy schedule to reach out and find out how you are doing and how you are coping with family chores and work, is one every mother should dear to their heart.
Hajara Sanusi, a 36-year-old PR consultant says: “Some friends only reach out to you when they are in need. I have had instances that when I see some certain friends at my doorsteps or their phone calls, I’m certain that they are only reaching out because they have a problem and need my help. Asides that they will never bother whatever happens to me, such people are not friends that will make an effort. As women we should a have friends that will make an effort in seeing to it that we are fine in whatever circumstances we find ourselves.”
Friends who are genuinely happy for you: Friends, who are really happy for you when good things happen in your life; should be what every mother should strive for. These days, we have seen and heard of women who felt betrayed by friends who didn’t show genuine happiness for the progress in their lives.
Vivian Chizoba, a 38-year-old, pharmacist says: “Anyone who calls herself a true friend of mine should be happy for me when good things happen. Shouldn’t every kind of friend be happy for others? But that isn’t always the case as most friends become jealous but pretend to be happy in reality. Friendship is a two way street, if I genuinely feel happy for a friend so should she/he without pretending about it.”
Friends who remain positive: these are folks who take pleasure in ruminating over every little problem in their life again and again and never make one move to change their situation. By doing this, they bring every other person in their live down with them.
Friends who generally involve in this are more interested in bad news around your life than good news. People who are positive and motivated and optimistic and who lift up those around them are worth hanging on to.”
Damilola Adeyemi, a 35-year-old accountant posits that: “Friends who aren’t positive in their thoughts cannot have anything positive to offer in your life. They would rather take pleasure in chatting and nagging about the negative things that happen in both your life and theirs. Such friends are a no, no for me.”
Friends who are up for anything: Friends should be willing to go the extra mile for you no matter what. Friends who chicken out when you most need their help are not worthy friends to keep. Friends willing to try something completely outside their comfort zone for your sake, every mother should keep.
Friends who are authentic: This is the steadfast friend who is anything but pretentious, the one who is not afraid to see you for who you are or show you who she truly is. She/he is real and honest and will tell you the truth when asked her opinion. When your behavior is questionable, there is a fine line between expressing concern and expressing judgment.
Hassana Ibrahim, a 37-year-old housewife, believes that: “A true friend will tell me the truth even if it hurts you. They will tell you as it is and not sugar coat whatever they need to say to you to make you feel impressed while in reality you are actually sinking. They will always be there for you for every decision you make even if it is contrary to yours.”
We all need friends that are honest in whatever they do and their dealings with us. Sincere friends are those that share in our joy and pain and do this with sincerity of heart. Fair weather friends don’t do us any good. As mothers and even intending mothers we all should aspire to keep the company of positive friends for they one way or the other have an impact on our family and personality.