Impatient to be a father, Kyle Casson was just 24 when he
decided to seek out a surrogate to carry his child.
But being a single gay man, his options were limited.
Turned away by surrogacy clinics across the country, his only
option was his 45-year-old mother Anne-Marie.
Last July – in a unique case that has divided opinion across
Britain – she gave birth to her son’s son by Caesarean
section.
Miles, now eight months old, is Mr Casson’s biological son
created by his sperm and an anonymous donor egg implanted
into Mrs Casson’s womb. In the eyes of the law, he is also
Miles’s brother.
Shrugging off the potential ethical and moral dilemmas posed
by his actions, Mr Casson, 27, said last night: ‘I understand
that not everyone will agree with it, but they can have their
opinions. I have a son and I am very happy.
'As long as people can provide a home, and they have the
support, I don’t see why anyone should be denied the right to
be a parent.
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‘Regardless of sexuality, gender, as long as you can provide
for the child, I don’t see what the problem is. I paid for it
myself, it’s not taxpayers’ money, I own my own home, I am
going back to work.’
Mr Casson, a supermarket worker from Doncaster, is the first
single man to have a child through surrogacy in the UK, and
the first to use his own mother as a surrogate. The process
at a private IVF clinic cost between £12,000 and £14,000.
He said he would tell Miles about his conception: ‘I am never
going to lie to him. We will tell him at appropriate stages in
his life, you have to be truthful, there is no other way. He will
also know that he is very much wanted.’
Kyle Casson plays at home with his young son, Miles
While it is not illegal for single parents to enter into a
surrogacy arrangement, the law prevents them from applying
for an order that they need to legally raise their child in the
UK.
Mrs Casson stepped in after another female relative – initially
lined up as a surrogate – found she was unable to do it.
Mr Casson said his mother knew he was desperate to be a
father. When he asked for her help, she agreed immediately.
In a High Court adoption ruling handed down last week, Mrs
Justice Theis said that under the 2008 Human Fertilisation
and Embryology Act, which governs surrogacy arrangements,
the woman who carried the child is the legal mother.
Her husband is the legal father because he consented to the
pregnancy – and both are named on Miles’s birth certificate.
Rules stipulate that a surrogate mother must hand over a
child to two parents – usually a couple ‘in an enduring family
relationship’.
Under the law, it would be a crime to hand over the baby to
the biological father alone.
But the judge argued that the adoption would not break laws
because the baby and its father are legally related as
brothers. Social workers backed the adoption, saying it would
‘strengthen the bond the father and child already share’.
But critics described the procedure as ‘dubious’ and called for
urgent reforms to prevent abuses of fertility law.
Last night, Mrs Casson, a carer, said: ‘When he first came to
me and his dad, I thought “I could do it”. Some people, when
they did find out, said “urgh”, but they don’t understand. He is
not biologically tied to me, other than he’s my grandson. I
love being a parent and for Kyle to experience that, I would do
that for him.’
Mr Casson said people may question his decision to have a
child when he is single, and only 27. ‘Even my dad said that
– why don’t you wait to meet someone. But nobody can
guarantee that I will meet anyone.
‘I did not chose to be gay, I was born that way. I was born
being unable to have kids. I can’t just go and have sex with a
woman. Being a dad was a high priority in my life and now I
have done it.’
He said the reaction from friends and family had been
‘overwhelmingly positive’, apart from one friend.
‘She said she thought my mum would interfere but of course
she will, she is his grandma – that is what grandmas are for.
Touch wood, I have had no negative reaction.’
Mr Casson, who has younger twin brothers, was four when his
mother separated from his biological father. Anne-Marie went
on to marry Alan Casson, 43, who adopted the boys and
raised them as his own.
Kyle said he had always wanted to become a father but
initially believed his only option was adoption. He then looked
into surrogacy and decided he wanted a biological son.
However, there are difficulties. Until now, it is understood that
no single man or woman in Britain has been able to become a
parent with the help of a donor egg and a British surrogate.
Some single men are believed to have travelled abroad to
America or India where they have been able to father a child
through surrogacy.
But in Britain the law only allows two parents to apply for a
parental order for any surrogate child born this way.
Even though Mr Casson’s sperm was used to fertilise the
donor egg, he initially had no rights over the child. He had to
apply to adopt the child – which was rubberstamped by Mrs
Justice Theis last week.
He started the surrogacy process last year, visiting a clinic
and selecting characteristics he would like, including hair and
eye colour. ‘The clinic I went to was really good. They have
radio advertising telling people they are after a donor, so
luckily at the time I did it, there were no waiting lists.
‘I did not expect to get someone so quickly. They said, “by
the way, we have found someone for you”.
They wrote down on a piece of paper the characteristics and
said, “have a few days, mull it over and let us know what you
think”. So I said yes.’
The anonymous donor is then given hormones to stimulate
egg growth. Her identity is never revealed, with the clinic even
booking appointments for her and Mr Casson on different days
so they did not inadvertently bump into each other.
‘Then my surrogate – my mum – had to be ready as well.
The clinic do not like to freeze the eggs, they say fresh is
better, so they get the surrogate and they get the donor at the
same point in their cycles when they transfer the eggs.’
Mr Casson added: ‘We were very lucky. My mum had a full
MOT from her own doctor and the clinic to say that she was
fit to carry a child.
‘Every single one [of the donor eggs] fertilized. But as each
day went, I had less and less. There is usually a five-day wait,
from when the eggs are collected and fertilized to when the
embryo is planted. We got to day three and they called me up
and said, “we’re really sorry but you only have one embryo
left”.
‘I was really disappointed. I had already given up by that
point – I was convinced it wasn’t going to work.
‘But the woman at the clinic was really nice and she said,
“you only need one”. I had completely given up hope, and my
mum’s age was a factor too, so I thought it wasn’t going to
work. I was gutted.’
He then watched a screen as doctors implanted the embryo
inside his mother. ‘Normally you wait 18 days to do a normal
pregnancy test. But there was no way I could wait that long
bearing in mind that was my first and last chance.
‘So we had a blood test after 11 days. They had a hotline that
you ring and they tell you if you are pregnant or not.
'I was waiting ages and I was ringing and then it got to 15
minutes past the time we were meant to call – and you only
have a 30-minute window – and no one was answering the
phone. I thought, “right, that’s it, we’re not pregnant”.
‘But the woman we have been dealing with throughout, waited
until she had finished in surgery to ring me and tell me we
were pregnant, which was really nice – I cried.’
He added: ‘I was so relieved. I could have afforded to do it
again, but I would have had to wait a good five years to save
up again.’
Mrs Casson said: ‘This sounds strange, but I always said I
knew from when they put the embryo in.’
Mr Casson added: ‘What was great about the surrogate being
my mum was I went to every appointment, I saw the midwife
every time, I was at every scan.
'And I was at the birth – well, technically, it was a C-section.
I opted for a C-section because it gave my mum some dignity
and, not only that, even she said, “it’s not my baby – I don’t
want to push”.’
Referring to the decision to have a C-section, Mrs Casson
said: ‘He is my son, I love my son, but there are certain
things that he can’t and should not see.’
Miles was passed to Mr Casson straight away.
‘I cried again then, I could not believe it,’ he said. ‘And I did
not know what he would look like, because you do not know
the donor, but people say he looks like me.’
Mr Casson says he’s ‘loving’ being a dad, but added: ‘I
wasn’t a massive fan of the baby stage. He had acid reflux –
I was really worried because I did not know what was wrong
with him. So that was hard work, and I was tired and
worried.’
Mr Casson will return to work next month, with his mother
taking over the childcare duties.zas
