Some say Afro Candy is a prostitute. Some say she’s not or
at least, not yet. A few others say she’s a porn star, which is
not in the same league as prostitution. Porn stars are taxed,
prostitutes are not. So Afrolicious baybay, you have to up
your game to get into the league of prostitutes, if it is what
you really desire.
My suggestion would be; instruct your agent
or booker to get you appearances in any of the political
campaign videos, so you can put to use that floppy behind
your mama gave you. And if you are lucky enough, you can
get cameos and wiggle that thing around the aspirants
themselves. You have to get your bum (sorry your hands)
bloodied to earn the highly coveted “Political prostitute” tag.
Now my Candilicious Afrolistic baybay, these are a few names
of the latest political prostitutes in the country: Olamide,
Banky W, Don Jazzy, Flavour, Duncan Mighty, D banj, Mercy
Johnson, Ibinabo, Ini Edo, Mama Gee, Naeto C, Joseph Yobo,
Daddy Showkey, Kanu Nwankwo, and Sammie Okposo.
I have been asked several times if our celebs should get
involved with politics. But today, let me push the same
question in different words to everyone reading this article. Do
politicians making affiliations with celebs prompt you to vote
for them? For me, it’s a definite No. Nigerians are not
influenced by celebs to indulge in certain acts because their
favourite celeb says so. For instance, I like Kate Henshaw but
expecting me to vote for a candidate she supports in the
forthcoming elections is like asking me to start buying a
particular milk brand because Don Jazzy endorsed it. Puh-
leez, things like that don’t cut it here in Naija. Naija is a
different kettle of fish compared to what is obtainable in
places like the US.
The politicians using celebs for their campaigns should ask
themselves what on earth the average person has got in
common with Dbanj. He has millions and he may never have
to lift a finger again in his life if he so desires. And you think
the boys in Okokomaiko who are not smiling will listen to his
unrealistic rants on TV and radio? Using a celeb for election
campaigns is as stupid as the political aspirants themselves
dancing in their campaign musical videos. Imagine Jimmy
Agbaje and Ambode dancing in their campaign videos? Ok, I
am sorry, no imagination is needed. I feel sorry for the
politicians that Nigerians are not fooled by all the media
images of celebs pushed at them every day on TV. It has
become so much that we can’t tell the difference anymore
between political campaign videos and the Nigerian musical
videos.
The only cocktail of politics and celebrity that the masses are
bound to endorse is that of creating useful awareness that
will benefit the larger society. People like Bono have political
views which bring attention to real, humanitarian issues that
transcend the established political doctrines and have nothing
to do with producing those plastic karaoke like political jingles
our entertainers are paid to produce. Those entertainers who
see nothing wrong in frolicking with politicians will say I am
speaking from a misguided perspective. Go ahead, defend your
support for that politician. Tell me you are campaigning for
change. You can’t fool anyone but yourselves.
Hey, my Afro Candilicious baybay, you go ahead with your
trade okay? Don’t let the criticisms of your fellow entertainers
bother you anymore. Tell them your porn is definitely a kinder
and gentler version when placed side by side with their
political prostitution. Now, good day ladies and gentlemen.
Please don’t forget to tip the waitress on your way out.
